you may be normal, but that’s your problem, not mine…

i was reading through the comments after listening to Bronwyn Winter presenting her “Radfem” ideas about Transgender Identity on youtube and came across one which, to respect copyright considerations, i believe i must paraphrase to give an idea what i read…

the comment begins with a flat out assertion: to be transgender is to have a mental disorder.

continuing, the comment says Men aren’t Real Women. well… if they had only used the terms “male” and “female” and maybe dropped the term “real” i would agree, but now we have to contend with what is a “real Woman” anyway… are females the only ones that can be Women? are they synonymous? is gender biological? i don’t agree with that.

then the commentator scared me. they say that it is unacceptable that i and my transgender comrades “dare” to claim that we are “normal”. this is followed by a flush of touching compassion… i am told that my illness entitles me to be “helped” by the real normal people since i’m so sick.

going on, we are also condemned for thinking that we can be better Women than “naturally born Women” are (here we go with the conflating gender and sex terminology again). our presumptuousness in trying to be “better” at being Woman than “naturally born Women” indicates that i’m uncomfortable with my Man body, so i need to see a shrink. i guess the idea is that if i just keep talking it’ll go away, right? an hour a week maybe? with a reasonably priced Psychiatrist i hope, or i’m just going to stay uncomfortable. which eventuality i guess maybe the commentator might have anticipated because to close, they thoughtfully wrote that it will help me to remind myself daily that i’m a special person, that i’m beautiful and that no one is better than i am!

i couldn’t resist answering, and since i wrote that, i can quote myself without any problem so here it is:

well, speaking as the 8 year old boy dressing in his Mother’s clothes after school, thanks for that kind advice, i’ll keep it in mind.

or as the 12 year old me, in the boys’ gym with his nipples swollen and aching and the other boys cracking up at how i can’t run, how i’m scrawny and weak like a Girl and plus… i have tits! hahahaha!!! it’s ok kids, go ahead and tease and sneer, i know i’m special. and a whole lot more beautiful than you, even if you do say i’m sick.

OK… well, shucks, here we are 48 years later, and dang if i haven’t legally changed my name and gender and donated all my Man clothes to the Thrift Store. and i’ve been taking hormones for almost a year now that make my breasts grow and finally feel… right.

you know, maybe we don’t know as much as we think we do about all this. maybe we are really very much alike, males and females, and in some cases, some of us really need to express our maleness in ways that don’t fit into what us males are supposed to be, which we call “Men”. we can’t be happy unless we look like Women… which is what we require females to be right? what we call “Women”.  but… males aren’t allowed to be Women. oops.

i for one don’t claim to be a female (except for legal purposes because i was forced to to keep my job if i wanted to dress “like that”).

i’d just as soon not be transgender but as others have pointed out here, i don’t really think i had a choice exactly.

this is who i am. male, with breasts, in Women’s clothes, preferring to be treated socially as if i was a Woman. i love females and i have no intention of taking anything from any female by this. i humbly ask nothing more than to be loved for who i am.

as for being sick, and needing help. well, if anyone in our culture can really claim to be mentally healthy, i will respectfully humor that delusion, but please. get real. you can’t make me the sick one and you, the pillar of a society which has succeeded in placing all of life at dire risk of annihilation are “healthy”. you may be normal, but that’s your problem, not mine…

2 thoughts on “you may be normal, but that’s your problem, not mine…

  1. There are no normal people, no one at the top of the bell curve. The problem is that someone believes they are.

    The people who believe in “normalcy” are exactly the kind of people who become oppressors, because they desperately need to defend their belief in normalcy. It seems, after all, a safe place to be — a place where you are affirmed and loved for who you are supposed to be (and not the one your really are).


  2. the word Normal is descended from the Greek, then the Latin adjective:

    perpendicular, square, with right angles

    …so “normal” is synonymous with “square”. which of course has a colorful place in the vernacular of “hip” culture, Jazz culture… generally a pejorative term for people who can’t swing, have no sense of rhythm and can’t dance.

    in reviewing my Wikedary (Mary Daly’s 1987 classic tour de force on how Language has been twisted into barbed wire to hem us into the Patriarchal net simply by using the words it allows us), i came across a viable contrast to “square” which is:

      “Pixy-path | [“a path by which those who follow are bewildered and lost” — Old English Dictionary] 1 : trail into the Background where Journeyers are Be-Wildered and forever lost to patriarchy. 2 : pathway that leads between the left and right hemispheres of the brain; path that leads off the map and into the Third Hemisphere” (which is itself defined as being the “zone Dis-covered and explored by Contrary-Wise Crones who spin beyond the compass and off the map; Uncharted Zone: Fairy Space”)

    hahaha… so i guess here we are. Fairies and Squares. and certainly we all know which of those is more fun, filled with life, magic and Infinite Cosmic potential…


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