not divided, different

what does it mean to change my gender? to understand that, i have to describe the viewpoint i have that contextualizes the concept of gender in our Hierarchical Society, a society whose roots extend into the past, emerging out of the 140,000 year long existence of Homo Sapiens on this Planet before History. our social reality hasn’t always been the way we understand it now, infused with insidious and destructive concepts that we take for granted, which are based on Hierarchical Division.

the emergence of this misguided intellectual/spiritual/physical principle of Division of the Whole has its origins in the merging of and emerging dominance of Hellenic and Semitic cultures in the last 5,000 – 10,000 years. it has lodged itself solidly into our very Psyches. we as individuals are functioning as our own Prison Guards. outright coercion is only needed to reinforce the tendency that we all support in our delusional acceptance of the basic premise: above us reside Powers that Rule by Natural Right, and below us are Inferiors over whom we are granted rights to function in the same manner. while this awesome psycho-pathological illness has yet to extend itself over the lives of every human being, its brutal power has obviated the power of any other possible cultural reality to exist outside of its shadow, by inhabiting and putrefying vital spaces in space and time. the Dominant Anti-Culture of Hierarchical Division is destroying the actual land, air and water on which all cultural development depends.

to be clear, first i must point out that i do perceive and acknowledge the existence of Difference. my dispute is with the manipulation of that Natural Phenomenon for the material gain of hierarchically organized privileged groups that have succeeded in transforming a natural fact into a conceptual trap which creates the possibility of Domination, which allows them to Rule and be fed the energy of the entire Planet at their will.

the starting point for my divergence with the Hierarchical Dominant Social illusion was inculcated in me by my Mother, a fierce intellect and spirit whose personal journey began in 1916. as a girl in a family that saw her destiny in typical terms as a reproducer; a servant; a submissive provider of services to Men; she was married at 18 in an arranged marriage that she fled in weeks. her brothers were groomed and prepared for professional careers while her proven intelligence was negated. twice Valedictorian of her High School in the 1920’s, she was expected to breed and coo and be pretty and resign herself to a life of second-class treatment due solely to her gender. she never stopped her work of coming to understand the nature of the social structures that oppressed her, to her last breath, at 99 years.

Mother’s studies took her far afield of accepted canon and led her to research Parthenogenesis, the fertilization of human eggs and growth of Human fetuses without male semen. she taught me a simple truth: the matrix for all life is Female. the differentiation of human fetuses into two sexes is an elegant reproductive strategy employed by our species and is an example of the existence of Difference in our world, but does not support the commonly accepted modern notion of Division. the social division based on this fact into two strictly divided genders is a vile and destructive fabrication that is essential to the emergence of Dominance in our social relations.

all of the above reflect my personal understanding of the world’s condition as having been distorted and warped by Hierarchical Domination, which asserts that Division is Real and requires us on every possible level to accede to lives hemmed in by delusions that transform our appreciation of our essential and complex differences into Divisions that render us into isolated pathetic and miserable shadows of our true selves.

my journey into the identity of Transgender Woman begins with my rejection of the role of being a Man. beyond that… lie wonders.

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